Jon is overly obsessed with dying in prison, or being so old when he is released that the remnants of his life will be worthless. Thus, the major reasons for his extreme cardio workouts and embracement of religion. He also is a vegetarian, and will not eat any type of meat. He has declared himself some unusual sect of Catholicism to be served a special diet tray without meat. Nearly every day, I will notice him staring in one of our plastic mirrors, dwelling on his aging face and the loss of his hair. I tell him he is fortunate these are plastic mirrors. I also hide one of my mirrors, not that he will crack it, but because his constant handling wears away the reflective surface on the back. John is planning to file a request for executive clemency soon, asking for a more lenient sentence. He goes out of his way to appear to be a model prisoner, which can be annoying at times. He actually thanks guards for locking him in his cage.
Jon is a very hyper, restless, and anxious person. He usually contains himself because he realizes it is annoying to others. However, sometimes he will bother me. He can, on occasion, ramble on for hours speaking very fast. He has made fun of me for my typically low pitched, and thoughtful speech, saying I am like "Lurch" from the Adams Family. I counter by saying if I am Lurch, you would be "Cousin It" on the show, if you only had hair on your head. His response will be an imitation of Lurch, the butler, saying "Y-o-o-u-u R-a-a-n-n-g-g?" My cellie will sometimes invade my space to do something because of his impatience. On occasion, I will punish him by punching him in the ribs, or poking him with my "Spear of Destiny", which is just a hard stick I made with tightly wound magazine pages, and a pen. It is really my remote control that I use to change stations on my TV from a distance. The "Spear of Destiny" is a name given the spear that a Roman soldier allegedly used to stab Christ while on the cross. By legend, it has special powers. Another quite annoying habit my cellie has is blowing his nose so loud that people can hear it on the other side of the cell house. It sounds like a fog horn, although he says it is the bag pipes of Ireland playing. Jon is also a packrat, and I must continually rebuke him about his excess property and clutter in the cell. For example, he currently has 20 rolls of toilet paper, which I told him he must keep in his box, or I will throw some away.
My cellie can be particularily hyper if he drinks coffee. Because he can be this way, I have made a rule that he can only drink coffee before he goes to the barbership or before noon. One night, he began to make himself a large mug of coffee. It was thicker than crude oil. I refused to let him get any water, and he ended up asking a neighbor to fill it up with hot water. While doing that, I dumped the rest of his instant coffee in the toilet. He was very upset, but I feel quite justified. He is bouncing off the walls after drinking lots of coffee, and I did not want his mania disturbing me.
I have made a long entry writing about Jon. This is more than appropriate due to how significantly a cellmate effects your time in prison. A bad cellie can make your life miserable, and a good one can make your time much more pleasant. Jon is not a person I would associate with outside of prison, however, he is a good cellmate, and I hope neither of us are moved.