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Saturday, November 14, 2009

Prison Perverts -- November 4, 2009

Early this morning, while I was eating breakfast in bed and flipping through channels on my television looking for news, a couple of guards and a sergeant came to my neighbor's cell. I was not paying much attention because I had my head phones on, but the next thing I noticed was my neighbor leaving with a Seg bag. A Seg bag is a laundry bag filled with a few items you are allowed to take with you when you are being sent to the Segregation Unit. A prisoner can take a bar of soap, towel, wash cloth, toothbrush, toothpaste, and a couple of tee shirts, socks, and boxers. Usually a prisoner is not permitted to make a Seg bag, and is sent directly to "jail" without passing "go." These prisoners must wait several days to a few weeks to be given a portion of their property. Their cellmate packs their belongings into their boxes, and the property is later inventoried and sifted through by guards. Eventually, the property allowed in Seg will be given to the inmate. The remaining property will stay in their boxes, and will be stored until they are let out of disciplinary confinement.

The person next door who was sent to Seg was in his mid-20s; he was a black man with a youthful and innocent-looking face. To my knowledge, he was never given a disciplinary ticket, and morning count had not been cleared so I was puzzled as to what he could have done. Later, I asked his cellmate what had happened. The noise in the cell house was so great, however, I could barely hear him. It sounded like he said that his cellmate was caught saying something over the phone last night. All our phone calls are monitored, and if you speak of certain illegal acts or rule violations, you can be sent to Segregation. The cellmate went on to say that he did not know because he was sleeping. I thought these words were peculiar because how would he know what his cellmate was talking about unless he was eavesdropping on his calls.

In the afternoon, I was still curious as to what had happened to the man next door, who did not seem to be a trouble-maker. I asked a man who always seems to know all the gossip. As an introverted person who does not speak with many people, and is typically disinterested in the affairs of others, I am often ignorant to those around me. I often rely on "rabbit ears" or someone else to tell me the news. Not surprisingly, my source already knew all about what happened. Apparently, during the night, my neighbor was masturbating at the bars when a female guard walked by. She told him to cut it out, but he continued. Later, she told the lieutenant and wrote up a disciplinary ticket for sexual misconduct, and possibly refusing to obey a direct order. My cellmate, who was paying attention to the story, jokingly added that he was also written up for "unauthorized movement."

I am not sure if the man had just been caught masturbating, or if he was watching the woman, and she was the focus of his fantasy. Considering that he was at the bars, however, I reason it was the latter. People who live outside these prison walls may think this is a rare occurrence, but such incidents are common, and clearly intentional at Stateville. Men will masturbate while watching a nurse or female guard on the gallery. They will also flash these women, particularly an unescorted nurse who is walking through the cell house passing out medications. In a number of instances, it will be the man waiting for his psychotropic medication who will flash the nurse when she gives him his pills. I cannot fathom how men get excited masturbating or flashing the women who work here. First, almost all of them are unattractive. Second, even if they were models walking around in bikinis, I do not see any sexual gratification exposing, or playing with, oneself in front of them.

Not long after I was placed in general population at Stateville, I learned how brazen the perverts at the prison are. There was a female guard working on the catwalk, which is a balcony off of the cell house walls, and parallel to the 4th level of cells. I remember her as a very unfeminine and ugly black woman. She had just come out of the military and still had that persona with her. The guard was watching the first chow lines leave the building on the first floor. She held her rifle in an aggressive manner, like she was expecting some Iraqi to jump out of the sand. I was on the 3rd floor, and waiting to go out for chow when I began to hear some man begin to talk sexually to her. He said things like, "Oh, yeah, soldier girl, you hold that gun so tight" and things like that. I thought the man was just making fun of her for acting like she was still in the Army. What I did not know, however, was that the man on the 4th floor had unzipped his pants, and was masturbating as he spoke to her. The guard said some things to him that I could not hear, but she stayed on her post. After the chow lines left, the guard apparently called the lieutenant about the incident. The lieutenant went upstairs himself, maced the pervert, and brought him out in handcuffs. As I was entering the building, having come back from chow, the lieutenant was pushing him along to Segregation by the handcuffs behind his back, and he had only his boxers on. It was winter, and it must have been a cold walk to Seg. No, this inmate was not given a chance to make a Seg bag. From what I had been told, the man was a "bug," however, not all perverts are noticeably odd.

There was a Mexican who lived on my gallery for some time who everyone thought of as normal. People, including me, were surprised when he also went to Seg for masturbating to a female guard. The guard was passing out mail when she was confronted with the closet pervert. From what I later learned, he was watching her from the bars as she approached while playing with himself. The guard passed his cell and continued to pass out the mail, however, it was obvious that she was disturbed. My cell was down from his, and when she gave me my mail, she seemed uncharacteristically upset. This female guard is one of the very few who is actually pretty, and the only woman I would consider asking out if I was not in prison. She is a wholesome-looking white woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. She reminds me a little of the actress, Reese Witherspoon. This incident happened a few years ago when I believe she had just started working here. I feel protective toward such women, and wish they would choose another line of employment. If she was family, or my girlfriend, I would forbid her to work here.

Illinois has never had conjugal visits. However, years ago, the bathrooms in the visiting rooms were shared by visitors and inmates alike. Many men would bring their girlfriends or wives into the bathroom to have sex. Some inmates were so uncouth as to have sexual contact in public at the tables, behind vending machines, or when picnics were allowed, behind the gym bleachers. Guards usually turned a blind eye to this, but now it is a quick walk to Segregation. Some prisoners, in lieu of sex, will talk dirty over the telephones. I have noticed a couple of men on my gallery hidden underneath their blankets with the phone cord trailing out. One of these men I know, and will make fun of. When I catch him, I will say, "Hey freak! What are you doing under there?" Whereupon he will pop his head out to tell me to go away. I will also tell him that he better not be French kissing that phone because I sometimes use it. (The phone is very dirty, and whenever I use it, I clean it off.) Another jibe I will make at this man is that he better be careful, and use safe phone sex, or he may catch herpes, TB, or hepatitis.

Prisoners are allowed pornography, but it cannot be hard core, or personal nude photographs. Prisoners often have hard core porn, however, and some mailroom workers do not care, or have different interpretations of what hard core porn is. Magazines are collected and traded by inmates, and I have seen or heard about all types of the strangest porn being passed around. From "Plumpers" to "Over 50" to the foot fetish magazine "Boots and Lace." My cellmate has an odd attraction to women's feet, and I bet he has had one of these magazines at one time or another. I have a few pornographic magazines myself, but they are of a classier type with pretty females, not the raunchy or weird type prisoners seem to value so highly. I also will not trade magazines, look at porn with other men, or even talk about the matter. Other prisoners would be surprised that I even have a few magazines; even my cellmate does not know.

I have learned that pornography is the number one subject sought after on the Internet, and it is probably not odd that so many men in prison have these magazines. However, I do find it strange that free men would want to bother with such magazines. If I should ever be free, I will not waste my time looking at nude photos in magazines or online. Hopefully, I will not be an undesirable, old man who is unable to romance an attractive female. I will be most bitter, and sad if I cannot find my princess.

December 17, 2009 -- Today, yet another man was sent to segregation for masturbating to a guard. He was a black man who lived in cell 9, three cells away from mine. The female guard was an older white woman with red hair and freckles who regularly works in my cell house. She has worked here a long time, and was not disturbed by the matter--rather, she was annoyed. I heard her comment that it was the third time he had done this, and now he was going to Seg.

The man attempted convincing others that the guard was lying. He did not want to be known as a weirdo, or sexual deviant. He spoke to my neighbor and others, telling them the guard was making up the story wanting to book him. One of the people he was yelling to was asked to call his family, and tell them the accusation was false; he was going to refuse to cuff up and go to Seg. The guards would have to bring the extraction team to get him out, he ranted. I was expecting to be called for a visit within the hour, and was not happy to hear the words "extraction unit." This would mean my visit would be delayed, or even cancelled. However, as I suspected, the man was only bluffing. When the sergeant came to get him, he put his hands behind his back, and was hand-cuffed without any fuss, and taken to segregation.


  1. In my rookie year they forced me work nights for 6 weeks. I was hearing stories about inmates and stuff and I didn't want any trouble on my galler so I, very politely, told imates no kissing during my shift. I got half of galler ready to riot hahahahha, throwing stuff and cursing the hell out of me but they got half of m point as they were watching me as I was walking the hallway...Night shift consisted of hlaf the night in one assgingment, half somewhere else so I figure, I could patrol for a few hours and what can happen when the guard is by your cell every ten minutes, ei? Well, some bastard came to the bars to show me his piece :) Then others who must have known, started laughing and call me dickwatcher so I announced them if I see any naked inmate, he gets a ticket. If I see them using the washroom they get a ticket. If I think I see anything, they get a ticket. I dropped 5 tickets on them hahahahha, four ofthem fake but they were laughing so they were guilty :) Next night they had a heart attack when they saw me. We made peace by me dropping another 5 tickets on the ugliest bastards I could find smiling and then there was everlasting peace for another 5 weeks :) They beat my tickets except two of them but those were payback and I got mine loud and clear.


  3. You know what's sick is the degrading line of normalcy in prison because of all the sick Mother fuckers in there. I was talking to a child molester and saw his eyes light up when he was reliving his molestations in his mind. Sick part is he was getting released. I knew for sure he woe do it again. Nine children wasn't enough.

    1. I agree about the declining line of normalcy in prison, but it also seems to be occurring outside these walls as well.

  4. No Country For Old Men Script - Dialogue Transcript

    Buy you a cup of coffee
    'fore you drive home?

    - No money in his room there?
    - Couple hundred, on his person.

    Those hombres
    would have taken the stash.

    I suppose so.

    Though they was leavin' in a hurry.

    It's all the goddamn money, Ed Tom.
    Money and the drugs.

    It's just goddamn beyond everything.

    What's it mean? What's it leading to?

    You know,
    if you'd have told me 20 years ago.

    I'd see children walking
    the streets of our Texas towns.

    ...with green hair, bones in their noses...

    I just flat-out
    wouldn't have believed you.

    Signs and wonders.

    But I think once you quit hearing "sir"
    and "ma'am," the rest is soon to foller.

    - Oh, it's the tide.
    - Yeah.

    It's the dismal tide.
    It is not the one thing.

    1. I can very much relate to the dialogue you quote from the movie "No Country for Old Men". Society has radically changed in the last couple decades and I do not think I would recognize it if ever released. "It's the dismal tide."

    2. That is an outstanding film.


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